Friday, March 26, 2010
4:35am: I woke up in the middle of the night with a distinct smell in my nose, something so familiar to my senses.. It's the scent of his perfume. What is it doing waking me up like this? I had dreams about him almost every night this week; some were bad ones, some were fairly good.
Sometimes, I cannot help but question why so much signs are pointing me back to him. Every corner of my house, my car, my favorite restaurants, the park by my house, Chicago Chinatown, the neighborhood grocery store (Jewel) and so much more; they all ring a bell, they remind me of the remarkable memories that were made with him.
Does he ever get that? Does he even recall how happy we once were? Do I ever cross his mind in the middle of the day, or before he falls asleep at night?
To be honest, I doubt it.
Sometimes, I cannot help but question why so much signs are pointing me back to him. Every corner of my house, my car, my favorite restaurants, the park by my house, Chicago Chinatown, the neighborhood grocery store (Jewel) and so much more; they all ring a bell, they remind me of the remarkable memories that were made with him.
Does he ever get that? Does he even recall how happy we once were? Do I ever cross his mind in the middle of the day, or before he falls asleep at night?
To be honest, I doubt it.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Just Let It Go
Tomorrow marks the first entire week without anything from him -- (no sms, call, email, tweet, FB message, poke, words with friends game). Nothing.
I would never thought I could last a week, to be honest. As I endure this pain that’s killing me right now though, I can feel myself becoming stronger as well. Over the past week, I’ve learned to let go of things that were once valuable to me. For one, I sold my first guitar today and it was one of the very first investments that I made in this country. You could just imagine, It meant a lot. It kept me company during those times when I was out and about, feeling helpless and alone. I have learned my very first song with that guitar. I remember how I would chill with it in the basement; while I watch YouTube artists play those songs that I wanted to learn back then.
There is only one song that I've learned to actually play and master: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.
The past year has been one of the toughest for me. I graduated with honors in the peak of the recession. How ironic and lucky, right? For quite a while before that, obviously, I was smart. I was the most reserved person you would ever meet. I would never open up to you, I was very enigmatic and I had the darkest secrets.
What happened?? I fell for a guy. A little less than a year after that, after all the promises and dreams of ending up with each other one day, he left me…
This is the voice of my broken heart. You’re invited to journey with me as I learn the art of forgiveness and, I guess, letting go.
I would never thought I could last a week, to be honest. As I endure this pain that’s killing me right now though, I can feel myself becoming stronger as well. Over the past week, I’ve learned to let go of things that were once valuable to me. For one, I sold my first guitar today and it was one of the very first investments that I made in this country. You could just imagine, It meant a lot. It kept me company during those times when I was out and about, feeling helpless and alone. I have learned my very first song with that guitar. I remember how I would chill with it in the basement; while I watch YouTube artists play those songs that I wanted to learn back then.
There is only one song that I've learned to actually play and master: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.
The past year has been one of the toughest for me. I graduated with honors in the peak of the recession. How ironic and lucky, right? For quite a while before that, obviously, I was smart. I was the most reserved person you would ever meet. I would never open up to you, I was very enigmatic and I had the darkest secrets.
What happened?? I fell for a guy. A little less than a year after that, after all the promises and dreams of ending up with each other one day, he left me…
This is the voice of my broken heart. You’re invited to journey with me as I learn the art of forgiveness and, I guess, letting go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
