4:35am: I woke up in the middle of the night with a distinct smell in my nose, something so familiar to my senses.. It's the scent of his perfume. What is it doing waking me up like this? I had dreams about him almost every night this week; some were bad ones, some were fairly good.

Sometimes, I cannot help but question why so much signs are pointing me back to him. Every corner of my house, my car, my favorite restaurants, the park by my house, Chicago Chinatown, the neighborhood grocery store (Jewel) and so much more; they all ring a bell, they remind me of the remarkable memories that were made with him.

Does he ever get that? Does he even recall how happy we once were? Do I ever cross his mind in the middle of the day, or before he falls asleep at night?

To be honest, I doubt it.